Florida Georgia Line - This Is How We Roll

I have completely neglected this space for far too long, there's no denying it. I am determined to revive this page, though, and plan to write an entry every Sunday. This is a very doable goal for myself because there is no end to awful Contemporary Popular Country out there, and one day a week at my work our local country music station is played, so I am acutely aware of the happenings in that genre.

The song that inspired me to come back here and start writing again is one of the most powerfully awful songs ever set to tape. Each and every aspect of this recording embodies everything I hate with all of my being. That song is Florida Georgia Line's number 1 hit single, "This Is How We Roll". Easily one of the most crass cash-grabs in recent history, this is a benchmark for blatant commercialism and utter lack of substance.



Let's break this down piece by piece, shall we? First, there is the music video. It is our two "sexy" frontmen of this group riding on the top of a tractor trailer while keeping their hands in the general vicinity of their groins, intermixed with unexplained shots of females making eyes with the camera, a party you couldn't pay me enough money to attend, motorcycles, and explosions for no discernible reason. It's like someone wrote down a list of "appealing" characteristics of a hit music video, put them in a bag, shook it up, and just grabbed a handful of items. There's no rhyme or reason to this vomitous display of shallowness. Next, you add a cameo appearance by a big country star to ride their coattails to fame.

And all of that is to say nothing of the song itself.

So, what is the deal here? Is this supposed to be some kind of breed of Contemporary Popular Country and rap? Is that what's going on here? Whatever it is supposed to be, the result is unbearably awful. If I'm supposed to be impressed by the singer's eclectic love of shitty music from all walks of life, I'm definitely not. Hank Williams Jr. (that's the Hank I assume they are referring to, as Hank Sr. is far too excellent for these types, and Hank III . . . I just doubt it) and Drake are both artists that I find completely wretched and have no idea why people enjoy them at all. Having both of these acts on your "mixtape" is not impressing me. Nor is your usage of the phrase "holla at your boy". Tossing that in there is calculated, to be sure, though I'm not sure what the intent really was. Then we have our Luke Bryan cameo, in which he says "Yeah, we cuss on them Mondays and pray on them Sundays". Rhyming days of the week is horribly lazy, and is swearing an un-Christian thing to do? I'm genuinely unsure. I know the bible doesn't condemn swearing because the concept of words being taboo (at least in the English language) arose because of the Battle of Hastings, which was clearly a bit after the life of Christ. Even if we accept that "good Christians" don't use fowl language, what are you saying? That you put on an act every Sunday to appear holy, but don't walk the walk during the other six days of the week? Once again, I find myself unimpressed.

"This Is How We Roll" might be one of the finest examples of precisely how to calculatingly create a number one single in the world of Contemporary Popular Country. The fact that it succeeded in doing just that speaks volumes for the lowest common denominator standards of the core audience for this type of music.

It's great to be back, folks, and I'll see you next Sunday.

Rodney Atkins - Watchin' You

Since this is my first post here, a bit of back story might be pertinent.

I'm a 29 year old from eastern Pennsylvania, and I've been pretty skeptical of country music my whole life. While I was growing up, my parents assured me that there was nothing of any value to be found in the realm of country music.

As I approached adolescence, however, I became aware of quality music that falls under the country banner. Bluegrass, for example, obviously finds itself fitting under there and it has a rich history full of fantastic musicianship and great songs.

After I met my wife, I fell even more in love with the possibilities of country music when she introduced me to alt-country, a style takes the best elements of country music and combines it with rock. Through the works of Son Volt, Wilco, Ryan Adams, The Jayhawks, and many others, my feelings on country in general started to soften.

When talented, quality acts like Alison Krauss & Union Station and Nickel Creek started selling a lot of records and becoming pretty major "country" acts, I noticed.

Until recently. Earlier this year, I started a new job, and at this new job, there is an awful lot of radio listening. There is an older gentleman that works with me that insists on listening to the local country station. It is through this particular radio station that I've learned that in many ways, my parents were right to tell me that country music is terrible. It is such a disgrace to the memories of great country artists through the ages (from Jimmie Rodgers to Johnny Cash) what is being done in the name of country these days.

Because of this, I am coming here once a week to point out just one example of precisely what is wrong with contemporary popular country music.

With that in mind, I offer you the first of many examples:
Rodney Atkins : "Watchin' You"


There is so much wrong with this song, it's hard to choose where to start. First of all, unnecessary product placement just bugs me to no end. Why does the "meal" the child is eating in this song have to be a "Happy" one? Why must it be a "Scooby Doo" night light? It adds nothing to the narrative, with the possible acception of making the "average" listener think, "Hey! My kid has a nightlight just like that!" thus making it appeal to "everyone". In reality, all this proves is that corporatism in America is so rampant, that no one is safe from brand recognition. As such, the brand-name-dropping disrupts what is (I'm assuming) supposed to be a touching story of father/son bonding.

Religion and country music have a long history together. Aside from its own heritage of bringing God in to the picture, country music all through the 20th century shamelessly borrowed from the gospel music of the African-Americans. While I don't share the beliefs, the musicality certainly stands up, so I can get behind it.

Everything that makes Down To The River To Pray great, is lost on this song. "Watchin' You" is an example of a song that brings religion into the picture not because of an overwhelming desire to share a a love for a diety, but rather to simply hammer home the point that "I'm 'Merican! I b'leive in Gawd! And I pray!"

The bottom line with this song is that it is a perfect example of how contemporary popular country artists will simply tap into the lowest common denominator (LCD) by shamelessly interjecting "common" experiences into overly sappy songs about issues that could be touching if handled by someone with a shred of songwriting tact.