July 4th Edition - Alan Jackson - Where Were You (When The World Stopped Turning)

I recently had a conversation with some co-workers regarding what we thought characterized some of the worst songs ever recorded. After discussing annoying vocal stylings, poorly crafted lyrics, and obnoxious instrumentation, a suggestion arose that simply overshadowed all these things: songs that prey on emotion.

Elton John's "Candle in the Wind (1997)" is a great example of this. For some reason that is totally beyond me, Princess Diana's death affected many people, and Elton John made sure to re-record one of his songs to earn a paycheck in relation to this emotion. When Eric Clapton's son fell out a window to his death in 1991, Clapton turned that frown upside-down with one of his most succesful singles to date, "Tears in Heaven".

There is no question that the worst example of this predatory tactic is Alan Jackson's "Where Were You (When the World Stopped Turning)". ( link ) The September 11th attacks were obviously a turning point for our nation, and one of the events that every American will remember somberly. Using this tragedy as an opportunity to further one's music career is absolutely despicable. Jackson has claimed in retrospect that he felt "squeamish" about recording/releasing a song commercially that was based on the tragedy, but the fact of the matter is he did it anyway. If he felt the song would be a comfort to people who were struggling with emotion at that time, he could have simply taken all the profits from that song and donated them to one of myriad charities. ( Pearl Jam and Harry Chapin are just two examples of artists who have used their position to help others, and not line their pockets.)

Aside from the inexcusable intents behind "Where Were You", it is simply a terrible CPC song anyway. The obvious examples of what is wrong with this song lyrically:

* "I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell you the difference in Iraq and Iran," embodies the willful ignorance of many Americans in regards to life outside of our borders, which is pretty embarrassing.

* "Did you lay down at night and think of tomorrow, go out and buy you a gun?" I'm sure many people did go out and buy firearms after the attacks. Terrifying, really.

* "Did you turn off that violent old movie you're watching, and turn on 'I Love Lucy' reruns?" This is just an awkward line, written by a hack songwriter. The rhyming of "gun" and "rerun" is just sloppy. No one says the word "rerun" with the emphasis on the second syllable. No one. Also, while changing the channel from Predator to "I Love Lucy" is about as close as the average American gets to activism, it is hardly something to celebrate.

While all of the songs that featured here are ones that get under my skin, "Where Were You" is the first that actually makes my blood boil when thinking about it. This song is simply the cherry on top of an already terrible string of hits for Alan Jackson.

Rodney Atkins - Watchin' You

Since this is my first post here, a bit of back story might be pertinent.

I'm a 29 year old from eastern Pennsylvania, and I've been pretty skeptical of country music my whole life. While I was growing up, my parents assured me that there was nothing of any value to be found in the realm of country music.

As I approached adolescence, however, I became aware of quality music that falls under the country banner. Bluegrass, for example, obviously finds itself fitting under there and it has a rich history full of fantastic musicianship and great songs.

After I met my wife, I fell even more in love with the possibilities of country music when she introduced me to alt-country, a style takes the best elements of country music and combines it with rock. Through the works of Son Volt, Wilco, Ryan Adams, The Jayhawks, and many others, my feelings on country in general started to soften.

When talented, quality acts like Alison Krauss & Union Station and Nickel Creek started selling a lot of records and becoming pretty major "country" acts, I noticed.

Until recently. Earlier this year, I started a new job, and at this new job, there is an awful lot of radio listening. There is an older gentleman that works with me that insists on listening to the local country station. It is through this particular radio station that I've learned that in many ways, my parents were right to tell me that country music is terrible. It is such a disgrace to the memories of great country artists through the ages (from Jimmie Rodgers to Johnny Cash) what is being done in the name of country these days.

Because of this, I am coming here once a week to point out just one example of precisely what is wrong with contemporary popular country music.

With that in mind, I offer you the first of many examples:
Rodney Atkins : "Watchin' You"


There is so much wrong with this song, it's hard to choose where to start. First of all, unnecessary product placement just bugs me to no end. Why does the "meal" the child is eating in this song have to be a "Happy" one? Why must it be a "Scooby Doo" night light? It adds nothing to the narrative, with the possible acception of making the "average" listener think, "Hey! My kid has a nightlight just like that!" thus making it appeal to "everyone". In reality, all this proves is that corporatism in America is so rampant, that no one is safe from brand recognition. As such, the brand-name-dropping disrupts what is (I'm assuming) supposed to be a touching story of father/son bonding.

Religion and country music have a long history together. Aside from its own heritage of bringing God in to the picture, country music all through the 20th century shamelessly borrowed from the gospel music of the African-Americans. While I don't share the beliefs, the musicality certainly stands up, so I can get behind it.

Everything that makes Down To The River To Pray great, is lost on this song. "Watchin' You" is an example of a song that brings religion into the picture not because of an overwhelming desire to share a a love for a diety, but rather to simply hammer home the point that "I'm 'Merican! I b'leive in Gawd! And I pray!"

The bottom line with this song is that it is a perfect example of how contemporary popular country artists will simply tap into the lowest common denominator (LCD) by shamelessly interjecting "common" experiences into overly sappy songs about issues that could be touching if handled by someone with a shred of songwriting tact.