Alan Jackson - Drive (For Daddy Gene)

This offering from Alan Jackson is a bit different than most of the ones I've focused on so far. The song itself is not so awful, especially when compared to other singles Alan Jackson released from the same album, for example. No, "Drive (For Daddy Gene)" is a relatively forgettable Contemporary Popular Country song focusing on that time-tested subject of motor vehicles.

(Although, I do have to note that I did grow up in a more rural area than the one where I currently live, and I do know of some parents who would allow their children to take the wheel on occasion because this is cute or something? To me, it seems more irresponsible and terrifying. But, that's just me.)

So if the song itself isn't what's so awful about this single, what can be the factor that is driving this song from bad to intolerable? The nonsense that was slapped together that is supposed to pass as a music video, that's what.



The concept here is pretty straight forward. Alan Jackson is recalling the instances where his father allowed him to operate a boat and a truck, and these memories are brought to life like literal pictures in a dusty old book springing to life. The problem is, that the "pictures" are animated incredibly cheaply and it's just awkward to watch. Just take a look at the young Alan Jackson in the Mario Andretti car at around 2:23 in the video. That's really the best they could scare up for one of CPC's top stars? I am willing to wager that, given a reasonable amount of time, I could have done better than that, and believe me when I tell you that an artist I am not. Seriously, though, that is just awful. And the boat at 1:17 isn't much better.

The thing is, this level of quality of computer animation could be forgiven if this had been released in, say, the early to mid 1990's. But it wasn't. "Drive (For Daddy Gene)" was released as a single in 2002. 2002. Computer animation had already been revolutionized by Toy Story in 1995. That means that the better part of a decade had elapsed since the world at large started taking serious notice of computer animation, and when this video was released. It would be unfair of me to expect a high-quality output from a team assembling a music video (which is hardly going to be as high-budget and quality-oriented as Pixar) if it had been the next year. But nearly a decade later? There is no excuse for this low quality.

And that is how it came to pass that an unremarkable song earned its place here amongst all the other royally crappy songs.

I would like to add, though, that it is really brave of Alan Jackson to continue sporting the mustache and mullet in 2002 in the face of good taste. That man has a story about his looks, and he's sticking to it. And I, for one, applaud him.

July 4th Edition - Alan Jackson - Where Were You (When The World Stopped Turning)

I recently had a conversation with some co-workers regarding what we thought characterized some of the worst songs ever recorded. After discussing annoying vocal stylings, poorly crafted lyrics, and obnoxious instrumentation, a suggestion arose that simply overshadowed all these things: songs that prey on emotion.

Elton John's "Candle in the Wind (1997)" is a great example of this. For some reason that is totally beyond me, Princess Diana's death affected many people, and Elton John made sure to re-record one of his songs to earn a paycheck in relation to this emotion. When Eric Clapton's son fell out a window to his death in 1991, Clapton turned that frown upside-down with one of his most succesful singles to date, "Tears in Heaven".

There is no question that the worst example of this predatory tactic is Alan Jackson's "Where Were You (When the World Stopped Turning)". ( link ) The September 11th attacks were obviously a turning point for our nation, and one of the events that every American will remember somberly. Using this tragedy as an opportunity to further one's music career is absolutely despicable. Jackson has claimed in retrospect that he felt "squeamish" about recording/releasing a song commercially that was based on the tragedy, but the fact of the matter is he did it anyway. If he felt the song would be a comfort to people who were struggling with emotion at that time, he could have simply taken all the profits from that song and donated them to one of myriad charities. ( Pearl Jam and Harry Chapin are just two examples of artists who have used their position to help others, and not line their pockets.)

Aside from the inexcusable intents behind "Where Were You", it is simply a terrible CPC song anyway. The obvious examples of what is wrong with this song lyrically:

* "I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell you the difference in Iraq and Iran," embodies the willful ignorance of many Americans in regards to life outside of our borders, which is pretty embarrassing.

* "Did you lay down at night and think of tomorrow, go out and buy you a gun?" I'm sure many people did go out and buy firearms after the attacks. Terrifying, really.

* "Did you turn off that violent old movie you're watching, and turn on 'I Love Lucy' reruns?" This is just an awkward line, written by a hack songwriter. The rhyming of "gun" and "rerun" is just sloppy. No one says the word "rerun" with the emphasis on the second syllable. No one. Also, while changing the channel from Predator to "I Love Lucy" is about as close as the average American gets to activism, it is hardly something to celebrate.

While all of the songs that featured here are ones that get under my skin, "Where Were You" is the first that actually makes my blood boil when thinking about it. This song is simply the cherry on top of an already terrible string of hits for Alan Jackson.